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I'm sure he knows his behavior was poor. Even if he still stands by adult wants orgasm everything he said as justified and doesn't know just how horrendous and hurtful. Probably his overall complaint is that, b/c I do not behave as he would like within the family/don't make the same decisions or have the same communication and relationship style, I "stress" him out. My (- dwindling and believe me now stopped completely) being a component of that stress apparently. Stress and/or guilt making him so angry and his life a living hell, at least when it has anything to do with our family/mother, as he tells it. He cites dealing with her as the main reason he had a heart attack a couple years ago. So while I might ordinarily state the facts with someone and let them handle it and the chips fall where they b/c we're all adults and responsible for ourselves my brother is not an adult and can not handle himself in this way. I certainly don't want to perpetuate the problem by enabling the behavior. I'm not about to bounce along and pretend it's all good. Or try to "fix" his problems or just behave the ways he wants me to. But at the same time, I don't want to trigger stress, guilt, fury, God forbid another heart attack. I know I am not responsible for how he handles himself. But I also know he is not so far psychologiy able to handle himself better. That's just the plain facts. So that leaves me wondering how to behave intelligently given the situation and that this is a family relationship I probably always maintain at least on some level.

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